Slow Realizations

Here is another story I wrote and got published in the Fall 2013 edition of FishHook. 

“What’s wrong, Molly?”

            “Nothing,” she snapped, yanking the covers over her shoulder as she turned away from me.

            Well, that was certainly convincing. So it would be the good old ‘nothing’ routine, otherwise known as specifically something, but to hell if she would ever reveal what it was. There would have been a time, maybe a few years back when I wouldn’t have let it go. But then again, the time where I could scoop her into my arms and she would not only let me but pour her heart out to me was gone. Maybe this was something marriage did to people. Maybe not. It seemed like something that was good to know, but I’d lost the will to ask. It was all so muddied up and confusing now, as if we had both begun to slowly speak a different language as the years crept by, until finally neither of us could understand a word the other was saying.

            I rolled over the other way and faced the wall. It was late and the call of sleep was too good to ignore. And anyway, my brother would be arriving early tomorrow. They had never really gotten along. Maybe that was why she’d been nothing but a shrew the past few nights, nervous and snappish, yelling at me whenever I opened my mouth and even spanking Devon for spilling over a cup of grape juice in the TV room. That at least had been bothering me, if nothing else. Molly had never so much as swatted Devon before, not even when he’d gone through the “terrible twos” and somehow picked up the word “douche” in his vocabulary. Now that he’d reached three and half it had been nothing but smooth sailing. Poor kid didn’t mean to knock over the glass. But tell that to Molly. In hindsight saying that had been a bad idea.

            I remember when she used to look at me, her blue eyes, so like my own, soft and warm. They were nothing but ice now. Except where Devon was concerned. Those looks reserved for me went to him when he came along. I suppose I could be jealous, but I couldn’t stomach it. He was my kid, an innocent child, he didn’t know.  Pulling the cover over my legs a little more I settled in a bit more and pushed the thoughts away. It was going to be an early start tomorrow.

            “So how is everything? I can’t believe it’s been so long.”

            Robbie glanced at me and smiled wide, “Almost four years.” He said.

            “I can’t wait for you to meet Devon. He’s such a great kid. So smart.” I said, glancing at the familiar features of my little brother before switching lanes and turning off onto my street.

            “Me neither,” he said.

            As we pulled in Molly was waiting on the stoop, Devon in her arms. She walked down the steps in her bare feet while I began pulling the luggage out of the back. Her laugh carried over to me and I glanced up. It was such a beautiful sound. How long had it been since she’d done that? She stood next to Robbie, her smile wide, her eyes bright. I watched as they walked on into the house ahead of me. Frowning I went to shut the trunk, but I must have done it harder than I meant to. The slam echoed down the street.

            From the chair I stared into the TV without really seeing anything. It was great to see Robbie, but I’d forgotten how he took up a room, drawing everyone’s glance and conversation. Though I was older, I’d never been able to get a word  in edgewise. I looked away from a commercial advertising acne medication and over at Molly. She sat close to Robbie, her body leaning toward him, the smile she’d put on when he arrived still there, wider even. I looked away again and caught sight of Devon sneaking off toward the kitchen. Before he could get more than a few steps away I was up and after him, but Robbie beat me to it, scooping him up and into his arms. For a moment I just stood there staring, uncertain what to do. I glanced at my wife. She wasn’t looking at me, but at Robbie, something like admiration there. I turned to Robbie, his brown eyes dancing, and then looked into the eyes of my son. As I looked between Robbie and Devon my mouth went dry. A snippet from freshman biology had surfaced in my brain, a useless something about genes, and suddenly, everything became clear. 

Copyright © 2013 Alissa Tsaparikos